Backstory

I should begin with the date February 27^th 2012, when everything started.  February 27^th was a Monday, the day before the Arizona Republican Primary Election.  Former Governor of Massachusetts Mitt Romney was set to have this primary locked up already.  I know this because at the time I was working for a market research company that conducted consumer polls in addition to their biggest project being the Election Exit Polls for the Presidential Primary and General Election in 2012.  The office was located in an inconsequential town in Central New Jersey, impossible to reach easily by highway (at least from South Jersey, where I was living back at my mother’s house after college, prompting me to face the crap situation many broke post-grads have to face—moving out and paying rent).  I moved to the neighboring Central Jersey town of New Brunswick, thinking a big college-ey town would be fun being a recent grad myself. 

Let me just say that I made a huge mistake following this logic—one of many I’ve made in my life so far whenever it has been necessary to make a vital decision.  Somehow, and at least I have noticed, a pattern has revealed itself to me dating back to high school where I am unable to make a wise, common sense decision in any matter regarding my future and myself.  When it comes to the most important decisions—namely, what am I going to do with my life? What career path should I choose?  When should I start worrying about marriage and children?  It seems all of my schooling and education and endless book reading have done nothing to contribute to good, solid logic when deciding what to do with  my life.  Which has, over the years of my early 20s up until I was diagnosed with cancer, morphed me into an anxiety-ridden, introverted, self-loathing, neurotic young woman with no dreams for the future.  It led me to living in New Brunswick, NJ in a dirty apartment with a mediocre first full-time job that took me over a year to come by after graduation. 

I must say here that, my only real concern these days has changed drastically from those I mentioned above:  Will I live long enough for any of these questions to be of importance?